Dear Diary,
I thought you might be interested in some of my thoughts this morning.
1. 6:14 A.M. My lower eyelid is twitching. Sheesh. Make it stop.
2. 7:32 A.M. I'm beginning to be disallusioned with this whole blogging thing. I don't think that even it can make me important. Plus, Ben is so much better at it than I am and that's really no fun.
3. 9:07 A.M. There's something in my sock. Down in the end sort of pressing on my toe. Maybe it's just twisted a little funny.
4. 9:08 A.M. Okay. How did an old marshmallow get in my sock.
5. 10:10 A.M. I hate blogging. "Sometimes it's good to go where everybody knows your name," but not if they don't take you seriously and refuse to appreciate the amount of time and energy that I put into creating a blog entry that is really all for them. I stopped doing this for me a long time ago. This is for your benefit and you persistently. . . where's my kid. I need a hug.
6. 10:15 A.M. I had a good run. I really did. There was a stretch there where I was feeling big and important. People read me. I mean, they checked to see what I had to say every day. Who cares if it sucked, they were watching.
7. 10:40 A.M. I am very angry. Two friends walked out of 'Kill Bill' last night and told me that if anyone I knew liked it, I could spit on them with impunity. This upset me. I'll back Quentin anyday against their back woods notions of world view. Nit wits. They did admit that he used my 'f' word idea.
8. 11:06 A.M. My toddler son is hitting his mother. What has this to do with me? I'm busy. Thinking. Deep thought, quick. Act you didn't see Nate. Let the wifie fend for herself. She probably started it. Plus, it's good blog training for him. He's already better at wearing his emotions on his sleeve than I'll ever be, with my tattered and broken spirit. I mustn't damage that in him like my father did to me.
9. 11:47 A.M. This is a personal attack on someone. I just don't know who, but they probably do. [Appropriate person, insert your name for Roger's. He's not real. He's fictitious. But if he reminds you of yourself. . . well, you know better than I do] Roger you nit! Nobody likes you!
10. Blogging has beaten me. I'll admit it. I've never been one for endurance. I don't think I've ever finished a game of Monopoly. But I think I've made a lot of new friends, met some people. But I really can't play anymore. I hurt my ankle. Tomorrow I'll strap on an aircast and limp on the wrong foot. And my wife is calling me in to eat lunch. Bye guys!
Sincerely
N.D. "Pudgiest Pants" Wilson
Dear Diary,
Oh, I'm so excited. Ben and I are going to fit in! :-) We've started our own kind of Blog interview. Here’s how it works:
Super Cool Blog Interview
1. If you want to be interviewed, post a comment to Ben Merkle’s blog http://nsablogs.com/mememe/ or Nate Wilson’s blog http://nsablogs.com/moimoimoi/ saying “Interview me, interview me, interview me. I am worthy. I won’t Meltdown.” Those exact words must be used.
2. Then we will send you five questions within one week, which you will answer and then post to your blog. You must post an additional copy of your interview as a comment to http://www.chattablogs.com/unclejosh It doesn’t matter what you’re commenting on. Post it anywhere.
3. When you post your interview, you must copy and paste these rules to the bottom of your interview
Questions for Nate from Ben
1. When was the last time you wept? I mean really, really wept?
This one's easy. My eyes are filling just remembering the depth of my emotion, and the overwhelming beauty of the moment. The day: April 4th. The moment: A friend told me that Tarantino was doing another film. I fell to the floor and shook with emotion. Quentin is the only one out there who really understands Christian film-making. "Kill Bill" opens tonight, and just saying that almost brings the tears back. Oddly enough, April 4th was also the last day I wet myself. The only problem with Q. Tarantino is that he doesn't return my letters. I haven't given up though.
2. What is your favorite blog out there? Why?
Well, mine I guess. It's the only one that I really spend time reading. I don't blog for Doug Wilson, Jon Amos, or anyone else. I do this for myself. Otherwise I don't think I would ever express myself or my opinions. No one would ever know me through my words, and they certainly wouldn't know me deep down inside where I do my emoting. It's good for me to expose myself like that. It's healthy. That's what Ben's for, and other people. To watch me.
3. How many unpublished screenplays do you have? And in what ways are you the most like Quentin Tarantino?
It's so funny that you'd ask this. I mean, really, the question should be "In what way are you different from Quentin Tarantino?" But I'll start with your question about my work. I actually haven't ever finished a screenplay, but I've got seven projects rolling, and all in different phases. Three of them are in the "talk about them loudly in a coffeeshop" phase. Two are in the "I'm writing a screenplay" phase (this phase is defined by whether or not they have titles and a few characters developed enough to carry on dialog in your head. The dialog must not be watered-down Christian bowlderizations of the real. These characters have to say things like "ass"). The final two have moved beyond these phases and are in the, "I've purchased screen-writing software but haven't used it phase because I'm still jotting ideas in a notebook until the complete narrative takes shape" phase. All of my screenplays are like Tarantino's "From Dusk 'Til Dawn" except for there are more misunderstood male characters. Quentin seemed to like the one idea he heard. I sketched it out for him in a birthday card and a lot of its elements are incorporated into "Kill Bill." I haven't seen it yet, but reviewers say that he uses the 'f' word. That was my idea.
4. What is your favorite self-deceiving fantasy that you tell yourself in
order to keep from feeling like a complete putz and failure? (I mean really,
sheesh, just look at you?)
I think this is a loaded question, Ben. You're trying to make me look stupid. I'll get more hits than you could ever dream of. I'll even post pictures of me if I have to. You're so sarcastic and I don't like your tone. Neither do your kids.
5. What is your favorite way to project your angst?
Well, I used turn on some old school "Pearl Jam", or some Kurt before the 'accident.' That's for the self-destructive slice of angst. Then I would add a little thoughtfulness with some gritty poetry. Bukowski's the name of the game. I don't actually read him, because he's depressing, but I would think to myself in a sort of subdued rebellious, hmmphy mental voice, "Maybe I'll read some Bukowski." Sometimes I even get out my Buke volume, and look at the cover. Lastly, I would integrate them all into one perfect blend through donning my tightest black turtleneck. People underrate the turtleneck. It's really a statement, a Randian, objectivist I'm snug with myself statement. But I haven't needed to do this lately. My old ways have been transcended by a new and tighter turtleneck. This blog of mine reveals my intricacies better than any turtleneck. People now know more than where my nipples and navel are. They know more than how much extra I'm packing in my handles. They know me.
Wow that was fun. I wonder how long I have to wait to be interviewed again.
Sincerely,
N.D. "Pudgey Pants" Wilson
Dear Diary,
I have really nice navel. It's so round, well at least when I stand up straight. When I hunch over it turns into a slit. That's usually how I see it. It's hard to look at your navel without hunching. If I use my fingers, like I am now, I can spread it out to get a good look. I could keep my most valuable posessions in here. Like my personality.
Sincerely,
N.D. "P.P." Wilson
P.S. I need more Q-tips. The alcohol swabs are impractical.
Dear Diary,
You know the one thing I can't stand about my dad? It's that he's so, well. . . nepotistic. Drives me nuts.
Sincerely,
N.D. "P.P." Wilson
P.S. I wonder if Pizza Hut is hiring. I know Taco del Mar is.
Dear Diary,
None of this seems to be working. I was expecting more glory, more affirmation. I feel like I'm the only one out there who really understands what it's like to be me. I mean, the rest don't get nearly as much out of Hoosiers and Terry Pratchett as I do. Hold on. Is this it? Did I just achieve it? Did I just get angst?
No. Probably not. I'll have to be more patient. It probably won't show up in my first week of intellectual freedom. Tomorrow, I will read other people's blogs and make comments so that they will look at you. I probably should listen to more Creed. "I'm six feet from the edge and I'm thinkin'!!" Yeah man. I'm starting to feel it already :-o
Sincerely,
N.D. "P.P." Wilson
P.S. I think the white shirt was a bad idea today. The blue one for Monday. Ben always says it's better with my skin.
Dear Diary,
Boy do I ever have a blog for you!! : ) : ) ; ) !! I just read benmerkle's blog and he's raised a really serious question. How can I be taken seriously, how can I be seen as my own artistie-man if I don't come up with some concerns about Moscow? I can't. And so I have. But what to be concerned about? Ah ha! Doug Wilson!! : ( First off, who does he think he is? I mean HELLO! He puts Latin phrases in some of his writing. I can't read that, does he think he's better than me. Second, he's not a real scholar. I mean, sure he says some good things some times, but what are his credentials? Just because he says it from the pulpit he thinks I'm going to buy it? He doesn't even understand good film. His writing isn't academic. He's not a real theologian, I mean he might impress the uneducated, but not us writer/thinker types. He doesn't even use footnotes. Sheesh. Third, he's a "sonuvabitch." I mean, I don't really want to criticize the guy (he is my dad and all), and I don't mean this in a bad way. It's an artistic allusion. Once, in "Ghostbusters" one of the busters says it, and its got nuances here. I mean, it's not like it has to be bad. It just means that maybe he's a little tough. I think the "Karate Kid" said it once too, adding even further subtle layers to the phrases historoliterate meaning. Ben Merkle is a "sonuvabitch" in more of the "Karate Kid" sense.
Fourth, "Credenda/Deadenda (not my own, sorry I don't have the link ;-). It takes itself way too seriously, I mean all the imitation of "biblical" sarcasm, I just have concerns, I mean they think they're prophets? And it's not serious enough. Little illustrations and stuff, and spoof ads and things? That's not respectable. How do they ever expect to impress the pagans? I shake my head. I mean, I really do, I shake it. Sort of slowly.
N.D. "P.P." Wilson
P.S. I'm sorry, I don't think I got the tone of intangible concern quite right, but it's only my first day. I would appreciate pointers from any more experienced bloggers.
Dear Diary,
I don't know what my sister ever saw in Ben Merkle. But I'm better than that. I like movies. I like to watch them. I don't mind nudity and sex. It doesn't bother me. I'm not tempted. I'm a little disappointed that more people aren't reading you. What's the point of baring my soul when nobody watches? I wish someone would interview me. Maybe if I talk about my favorite CDs, then people will start reading.
N.D. "P.P." Wilson