Let's Talk About Me

I've Got an Excuse

Now we all know that under normal circumstances it’s quite pathetic, spineless, and impotent when people leave comments on blogs anonymously.
But I’m different.
I’m the one exception.
The reason is. . . Well I didn’t want to say, but it was going to come out sooner or later, so I might as well just tell you now. There’s no point in trying to keep it a secret.
I’m a super-hero. As you know super-heroes always have fake identities. But for us, it’s not pathetic. It’s merely one of the perks of having super-powers. What are my super-powers? Well for one, I have the fastest double click in the world. For another, I can see code, just like Neo in the Matrix. I see it everywhere. Even in the shower. Lastly, I have super bendy thumbs.
Now I would like to be able to tell all you young kids out there that my super-powers were the result of hard work, good nutrition, and determination. But that would be a lie. I was born this way. You see, there are two kinds of super-heroes. There are super-heroes that work hard to be classified as super-heroes. Class I: Think of Batman and Robin. They don’t have any actual super-powers, they just have belts with lots of tools. Anyone could be a Batman if he tried hard enough. Spiderman might fall into this category, if freak scientific accidents can count. Class II: These are real super-heroes. Superman, Aquaman, Wonderwoman. They were just born that way. Like me. You can never be like me, no matter how hard you try.
So when I leave a comment on your blog, I don’t have to say who I am. I can leave a little note that’s almost as mature as the notes scribbled on the boy’s room stalls in your Junior High, and I can do it under a pseudonym. Why? Because I am wearing my super-hero costume, complete with cape, spandex, a winged helmet, and my super-hero underoos.
Therefore, know that when someone leaves an anonymous comment on your Blog that it is probably some pathetic putz who is just using the internet as a way to mask his many insecurities. But it just might be someone with an excuse.
It just might be a super-hero.
It just might be me! Blogger Boy!!!